still on

hey people

well today was my day of maybe for not much longer thinking of working half days on wednesday but today i saw dr v and spoke to her told her i thought i could use some meds to help me but she doesnt agree as my past isn't my friend she said according to my past i dont take them at all or i dont take them long enough or i dont take them properly she said she is not against the idea but she thinks i do better without them at least she thinks that well she hasnt kicked me out yet either in fact she didnt mention it at all and wants to see me in two weeks instead of four which is good i really need her help she also insisted that i call k if i need to and that i dont need to be ashamed and that its normal for me not to be able to handle everything on my own yet that one day i will but yeah i just need some help sometimes but im still too ashamed and i need to get out of that thought as i cant keep living like this its too hard and another thing i have started drawing not nice pictures but it keeps my mind and hands busy its good im really enjoying it i am thinking of doing some classes i hope i dont get too scared when i go i would really like to learn to draw better more like properly lol well i better go might go back to bed feling tired even though its quarter to four in the afternoon oh well got work in the morning yeah so good can you just feel the sarcasim lol